


wrapped up in self doubt

by wingedrat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, M/M, i wrote this during Sad Boy Hours, inspired by a song, lowercase aesthetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 00:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16984317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingedrat/pseuds/wingedrat
Summary: “You've got it allYou lost your mind in the soundThere's so much more, you can reclaim your crownYou're in controlRid of the monsters inside your headPut all your faults to bedYou can be king”





	wrapped up in self doubt

tony stark was not afraid to admit he had nightmares. a lifetime ago, he wouldn’t of believed that. but, as years passed, he realized something. having fears did not make you weak or any less of a man. it was a natural thing. it was the foundation of basic human emotions. it was a survival mechanism.

but, his very egoistic boyfriend, stephen, would wholeheartedly disagree with his statement. he never admitted to being scared. where he’d learned that from, he had no idea. though, he did know that using magic did take a toll on the sorcerer’s body. every night, tony would feel the thrashing of the other body that laid in his bed. whenever he’d ask stephen about it the next morning, he’d deny it- even if tony managed to wake him up.

even though it wasn’t him experiencing the pain, it still made him hurt. so, one night, tony decided it wouldn’t hurt to confront him about it. after all, at least stephen would know he cared.

“you don’t have to hide it.” he’d stated, breaking the silent atmosphere of the room. the two of them were both laid in bed, which tony didn’t enjoy the idea of. he’d rather be in his lab, but stephen managed to convince him to go to bed earlier. how he did it, no one would know if asked. aside from stephen. that asshole probably had like, fourteen million six hundred and five tricks up his sleeve, being the magician he was.

since the two of them were laying back to back, stephen craned his head to look over at tony. “excuse me?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“nightmares.” the engineer pointed out, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. and it was the most obvious thing in the world! what else would he be hiding? a dead body? his secret family that he’d left behind, which consisted of a son and ex-wife who were told he went to the grocery store to buy milk right before he left and never returned?

“i don’t have nightmares.” stephen retorted, a hint of humiliation mixed with offense in his tone.

“yes, yes you do. don’t deny it. we both know you have nightmares.” he sighed, sitting up and rubbing at his left arm. “there’s nothing to be ashamed about. it’s natural.”

the other man didn’t respond for a few moments. tony thought he did something wrong, so he opened his mouth, about to apologize. but, he was cut off before a word even came out.  
“fine. i do have nightmares. but, guess what? i can’t do anything about them. i’ll never be able to do anything about them- unless i were to stop being a sorcerer. i can’t do that either. so, i have to learn to live with them. i can’t even eat normal food, tony. it’s too late to go back. this is a price i have to pay, whether i like it or not.” stephen’s voice was so raw, so filled with emotion, it made his heart break. he wanted to take all his pain, hold him in his arms forever, never letting him go. but, sadly, he couldn’t. a few moments just like that was all he could afford.

so, that was what he did. luckily, stephen had sat up midway through his speech, meaning that way tony wouldn’t have to awkwardly maneuver his arms around him. he put his arms around the sorcerer’s neck and pulled him close, holding him tight. he could feel the other man take a shaky breath, before the hug was returned. stephen moved a trembling hand up to cradle the back of tony’s head, putting his chin on his head.

there was a long silence. the only sound in the room was the breathing of both men, and the occasional sniffle of stephen’s. tony honestly doubted that this would be discussed in the morning, but only time would tell. 

even if he didn’t, tony was glad that he’d finally been told all of this. that he had this moment to remember for the rest of their lives. though, a small part of him believed stephen would finally own up to this once and for all, bring it up in conversations, maybe go to therapy, because tony was definitely not a qualified therapist. that was more of sam’s thing- and maybe bruce. he had seven degrees in biochemistry, plus he was pretty damn good at not hulking out at any minor inconvenience. that had to give him a few therapist points.

after a few long moments, stephen separated himself from tony. getting the hint that it was time for tony to let go, he did exactly that.

“i love you.”

“i love you.” tony repeated back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been collecting dust for... way too long, mostly cause a. I was procrastinating and b. I was busy writing like, 5000 more drafts I will never finish.
> 
> Anyways, this was not beta read because my usual beta reader doesn't like this ship so I just. Didn't tell them that I wrote this.
> 
> Social Medias:  
> Tumblr - king-idiot  
> Twitter - thekxngidiot  
> Instagram: thekingidiot


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